


We're Not in Love

by kriskrisus



Category: VIXX
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-24
Updated: 2017-04-24
Packaged: 2018-10-23 09:25:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10716648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kriskrisus/pseuds/kriskrisus
Summary: "We're not in love, but I'll make love to you."That's what Taekwoon always did to Hakyeon all this time.





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> These whole chapters had been beta-ed~

Most of their friends thought Taekwoon and Hakyeon were dating. In fact, they weren’t.

Taekwoon couldn’t blame them though. The way Hakyeon attached to him and how he always nagged him would be mistaken by people as if they were old married couple. Taekwoon had getting used to his friend’s clingy nature though.

But no matter what, their friends would still mock them; shaking their heads whenever Hakyeon started his nagging at Taekwoon. There were also times when their friends telling them to get married already. Taekwoon would just stare at their friends with his usual blank stares and shakes his head, while Hakyeon would laugh at them. But sometimes, his laugh was a fake one. Especially when it’s Wonshik who told them to get married. Hakyeon would laugh, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

As far as Taekwoon knew, Hakyeon has been crushing on Wonshik for two years. It was a one sided love, since the later has never been seeing Hakyeon as more than just a friend. And all of them knew that Wonshik’s dating an art department student named Jaehwan.

Taekwoon remembered clearly when Hakyeon told him about his little crush on Wonshik almost two years ago. It was usual for Hakyeon to has a crush, and Taekwoon knows that it won’t last more than a month, and he didn’t really give it a thought. What he didn’t expect was that little crush had somehow turned into a big crush. And what he didn’t realize was, somehow, he found himself falling for Hakyeon.

The day when Hakyeon knew there’s no hope for him, Taekwoon found himself hugging a crying Hakyeon on his couch. Earlier that day, Wonshik told Hakyeon that the former was having a crush on Jaehwan whom he met at the library. And it wasn’t just a crush, Wonshik fell in love with Jaehwan at first sight.

Seeing Hakyeon like that hurts Taekwoon. It hurts him to see his friend crying like this, but it also hurts him for he realized how Hakyeon loved Wonshik. There’s no way Taekwoon had a chance to be in Hakyeon’s heart.

Somehow, after an hour or so full of crying and a few bottles of soju, they ended up being in Taekwoon’s bedroom. They were kissing sloppily, Hakyeon being on top of Taekwoon. Though his head was clouded with alcohol, Taekwoon realizes how wrong the situation they were in. He shouldn’t be taking advantages of his friend’s misery. But then the guilty he was feeling went out of the window as Hakyeon kissing his neck and collarbone. And they just did it.

The next morning, Taekwoon found himself alone on his bed. The other side was cold. When he got out of his bedroom, there’s no sign of Hakyeon in his apartment.

A few days later, Hakyeon approached him at the canteen, smiling brightly as if nothing happened a few nights before.

A few weeks later, Wonshik announced that he’d confess to Jaehwan that day. Of course Hakyeon would cheer for him. And later that evening, one his friends texted him; telling that Jaehwan had accepted Wonshik’s feeling. The first thing that Taekwoon did as he receives the text was to call Hakyeon. But even before he hit the dial button, his apartment’s door was buzzing. He didn’t need to guess who’s on the other side of the door.

As soon as he opened the door, Hakyeon hug him. He was sobbing into Taekwoon’s chest and Taekwoon hug him back as he closed the door, dragging Hakyeon into his apartment.

And again, that night they ended up in the same state like before, but this time without the alcohol clouding both their head. And everything was clear, everything was real for Taekwoon. And Taekwoon made sure that Hakyeon would felt loved that night, unlike their first time where everything was a blurry image.  
In hindsight, Taekwoon should’ve known that Hakyeon would leave before he wakes up.

But unlike last time, Hakyeon avoided him. They still sat at the same table at the canteen with their friends, yes, but Hakyeon wasn’t as clingy as he was before. He was distancing himself from Taekwoon. He’s avoiding Taekwoon’s stare. But Taekwoon was also too afraid to talk to Hakyeon. And they stayed like that until their graduation day a few weeks later.

No words were said to each other. And they separated their way just like that.

 

It was a few years later when they met again at a wedding party. It was Wonshik and Jaehwan’s wedding party in fact.

When Taekwoon received the invitation, he knows that he’d met Hakyeon there. What he didn’t expect was that he and Hakyeon was seated on the same table, next to each other.  
Hakyeon was clearly shocked seeing Taekwoon there. And after an awkward greeting and a few questions about each other, the wedding began.

As the grooms walked into the hall, the guests were clapping and smiling. Taekwoon noticed that Hakyeon was smiling, but still it didn’t reach his eyes. His eyes were sad as he longingly stares at Wonshik. And when the claps died slowly, Hakyeon turns his head. He was shock when finding Taekwoon stares at him.

When the party was over, one by one the guests bid their goodbye to the newlywed couple. And so did Taekwoon and Hakyeon. Somehow they ended up walking together to the couple, side by side.

“Congratulation Wonshik-ah, Jaehwan-ah!”  
“Hyung! Thank you so much for coming!”  
“I’m happy for you two.” said Taekwoon.  
“Thanks hyung! Now it’s your and Hakyeon’s turn to get married!”  
As Wonshik said the last sentence, Taekwoon could feel how Hakyeon tensed next to him. Somehow, Hakyeon managed to laugh at it.

“There’s no way we’ll get married, Shik-ah! We’re just lifelong friends, right Woon-ah?”  
Taekwoon said nothing, but nodded nonetheless.

“So, are you heading back home or are you staying at the hotel too?” asked Jaehwan.  
“I’m staying here, I don’t think I’ll be able to drive after those drinks.” Said Hakyeon.

“Oh? Taekwoon-hyung is staying at the hotel too, right?”

Taekwoon nodded at his friends, “I think I’m going back to my room now, if you guys don’t mind.”

“Of course not, hyung.”

After they bid their goodbye, Taekwoon head to the lift. Hakyeon followed behind.

They entered the lift silently.

“What floor are you heading to?” asked Taekwoon as he press for his floor.

Hakyeon was staring blankly at the buttons before he answered, “It’s the same with you.”

And it was silent again. Taekwoon found himself staring at Hakyeon’s reflection on the lift door.

When the lift stopped, Taekwoon was the one who walk out of the lift since Hakyeon didn’t show any sign to move. “Are you coming out or not?”

Hakyeon snapped his head and stare at Taekwoon for a second. He nodded and walk out of the lift, walking silently behind Taekwoon.

When Taekwoon opened his door, he turned around to Hakyeon. But before he was fully turned, a hand pushes him inside his room. The door was closed, and it was a bit dark inside. The only light was coming from the outside. Taekwoon found himself being pushed to the wall and a pair of lips was on his, kissing him slowly.

“I lied.” said Hakyeon when they parted their lips.

When Taekwoon said nothing, Hakyeon continued with his words. “My room is two floors above. I lied.”

“Then why are you here?”

“I don’t know. The same reason like when the last time I went into your place maybe.” There’s a sad chuckle.  
“I know I’m a jerk, Woon-ah. I don’t love you, and I shouldn’t be doing this to you. I’m sorry… So sorry.. S-so sorry…”

Taekwoon hugged him when Hakyeon starts sobbing, stroking his back as he kisses Hakyeon’s temple.

“It’s okay. We don’t need to be in love to be doing this anyway.” And then he dragged Hakyeon to his bed.

His words surely hurt him. He lied to Hakyeon and to himself so good that he started to believe in his own lies. But it wasn’t about him. It’s about Hakyeon. He couldn’t stand to see how his friend was hurting. After all this years and Hakyeon still loves Wonshik. It hurts him, yes. But seeing his friend hurt made the pain double inside him. So he made sure that Hakyeon forget all of the pain that night.

He kisses Hakyeon slowly. He made sure to kiss his forehead, nose, cheeks, and lips. He made sure that Hakyeon was comfortable and feels good. He made sure that Hakyeon felt loved.

“We’re not in love…”  
Taekwoon whispered to Hakyeon’s ear as he entered him slowly, lovingly. He kissed Hakyeon’s lips briefly and looks into his eyes.

“But I’ll make love to you.”

And then he just did.  
That’s what he always did to Hakyeon all the time. Maybe Hakyeon didn’t know, but he’s fine with that.  
He only had to make sure that Hakyeon felt loved for the night.

And when morning came, he knew he’d be alone again like usual.

And Taekwoon’s fine with that.


	2. 2

Hakyeon is lying on his bed wide awake, staring at his ceiling. He glances at the clock on his night stand. It still a bit half past five in the morning, still hours before his alarm will go off.

He was awakened by a dream about Taekwoon.

He remembers it clearly. He saw Taekwoon and him were lying on a bed with white sheet. It was morning since the sun shone through the window and made everything glows. They were holding each other and Taekwoon stared at him lovingly, slowly approaching Hakyeon. He whispered something that Hakyeon could barely hear. So he asked Taekwoon to repeats his words once again. And Taekwoon did. He approached Hakyeon once again and goes to his ear this time, whispering a soft “I love you” and kissed Hakyeon’s lips.

Then Hakyeon jolted awake from his dream.

It feels real and unreal at the same time. He feels warmness spread all over his body. His heart beats really fast. It might be just a dream, but still it feels too real for Hakyeon. Hell he can even still feel Taekwoon’s lips on his.

He sighs deeply.

He won’t admit it loudly, but deep inside he misses Taekwoon so much. He wants to see the other, to talk to him, to apologies, but he’s just too afraid. He’s afraid that Taekwoon will be mad at him. The last time he saw Taekwoon was after Jaehwan and Wonshik’s wedding. He remembers the last night they spent together; how Taekwoon held him and kissed him. He even remembers what Taekwoon said that night clearly.

_“We’re not in love. But I’ll make love to you…”_

He said it in a loving but sad tone it hurts Hakyeon every time he replays it in his head. He hurts Taekwoon so bad, he’s sure the other won’t forgive him for everything he has done. He took advantages on Taekwoon’s kindness after all. But Taekwoon’s words made him questioning everything;

_Did it mean Taekwoon love me?_   
_Does he still love me?_   
_Will he ever forgive me if we meet again?_

As much as he wants to find out the answers, he can’t bring himself to see Taekwoon. He’s just too afraid to see the other loathing at him.

 

His alarm cuts his train of thought. He then gets ready for the day.  
It doesn’t take him a long time to get ready for work and he barely had breakfast either, so he arrives early at his workplace. Not many of his colleagues have arrived yet, so it’s pretty quiet there. His phone is ringing when he checks his work email. Jaehwan’s name pops up on his phone screen.

 

“Hyung! How are you?? Oh my god! It’s been a long time! Are you okay?”

Hakyeon smiles at his dongsaeng’s train of questions. Just so Jaehwan.

“I’m fine, Jaehwan-ah. Yes it’s been a long time, right? How are you doing?”

“I’m doing good, hyung!”

“That’s good to hear. How about Wonshik and your son?”

“Wonshik’s good, he’s taking a day off now. Hongbin’s fine, too! Oh, he’s learning how to walk now!”

“Really? That’s great! I can wait to meet him again.”

The last time Hakyeon saw Hongbin was last year, on his born day. He feels bad about it; it makes him feels like a bad uncle.  
“Then come visit us! Where are you right now?”

“Sure, sure. I’ll come when I have time. I’m at my workplace right now. Why?”

“You better have time, hyung.” Jaehwan threatens playfully. “Anyway, let’s have lunch together hyung!”

“Today?”

“Of course! We can eat at the restaurant near your office. That Italian restaurant is still there, right?”

“Yeah it is. Are you going to bring Hongbin, too?”

“Uh, I’d love to. But let’s have Wonshik takes care of him for today.” Jaehwan laughs softly.

 

He barely has a free time with Hongbin needs to be attended all the time and his work’s schedule. He really loves Hongbin, but he sometimes needs a day for himself too. And with Wonshik staying at home today, he doesn’t see why he can’t go out by himself to meet Hakyeon for lunch.

“Well, sure. We’ll just meet there, right?”

 

It turns to be a busy day for Hakyeon and his lunch break is delayed 30 minutes. So when everything is done, he rushes out his cubicle, refusing his colleagues invitation to have lunch together and go straight to the Italian restaurant where Jaehwan is waiting.

Fortunately, the restaurant is ten minutes away from his workplace. Jaehwan is beaming when Hakyeon approaches the table. He stands up when Hakyeon’s next to the table.

“Hyung! Glad to see you! Come on take a seat!”

A waiter is approaching their table and hands them the menu. It doesn’t take long for them to look at the menu, and as the waiter’s done writing their order, she leaves their table.

“So, what are you up to this day? God, you look thinner! Do you even eat?” asks Jaehwan as he sips down his water.

“Not much. I’m a bit busy especially this month with upcoming projects. I have to meet the clients like usual so I barely have time to eat, but I’m fine Jaehwan-ah. Don’t worry too much.”

Hakyeon smiles to assure Jaehwan. But the other isn’t easy to convince and just scoffs at his hyung.

“Right. Of course you’re doing just fine. You look really healthy, hyung.”

“Wow, look at you! We haven’t met in a year and your sassiness is already upgraded this far. I’m impressed, Jaehwan-ah.”

“I learnt it from you, hyung.” Jaehwan grins cockily. Hakyeon smiles weakly at his dongsaeng.

 

To Hakyeon, Jaehwan is still the same except for his sassiness and he looks brighter than before. Maybe it’s all because of his marriage life. They eat their lunch while talking about their life; Hakyeon talks about his works and Jaehwan talks about Wonshik, Hongbin, and his job as a drawing teacher.

 

“Oh right! I forgot to tell you something, hyung!”

 

Hakyeon lifts his eyebrows, “Hm? What is it?”

 

“So, next week we’re going to celebrate Hongbin’s first birthday! He’s birthday is on Thursday, but we’re having the party on Saturday. Can you come? Pleeeeeease???”

Jaehwan begs with his eyes open widely like a puppy. Hakyeon frowns but chuckle anyway at him.

“Geez, look at you! You already have a son but still acts like toddler.”

  
“Hyuuung!”

  
Hakyeon laughs wholeheartedly. “Of course, Jaehwan-ah. What time do I have to come?”

 

Jaehwan clasps his hands together happily, “Great! The party will start at around 11 so we’re going to have lunch together, too!”

  
“Who’s coming to the party?”

  
“Hmh, not much actually. My siblings are coming with their kids, and so are Wonshik’s. There are also our parents and you…. Oh! Taekwoon-hyung is coming too!”

 

Hakyeon’s sure his heart stops for a second. His right hand, which is about to grabs his glass, stops mid-way. If he’s shock, he doesn’t show it on his face. He’s trying to calm himself and sips the water.

“Taekwoon..is coming?”

  
Jaehwan hums his answer, clearly oblivious with Hakyeon’s shock state.

  
“Yes, Wonshik told me last night that he’s going to come. Guess he misses Hongbin already.”

  
Hakyeon quirks a bit, “Does he visit Hongbin often?”

 

“Maybe twice a month? He came too when Hongbin’s just born. Too bad you guys didn’t get to meet each other that time. He was asking me about you.”

  
“He did?”

  
“Of course, hyung! Did you guys have a fight or what?” Jahewan is eyeing him suspiciously.

Hakyeon shakes his head slowly, avoiding Jaehwan’s stares at him.

“No, we didn’t. Like I told you before, I’m really busy these days so it’s hard for me to keep in touch with my friends.”

  
It’s a bit hard to convince Jaehwan, but the other shrugs it off.

“Well anyway, since you promised you’ll come, I expect to see you at my house next week okay hyung? I don’t want to hear any excuses! It’s been a long time since the last time you met Hongbin. And whatever happened between you and Taekwoon-hyung… I hope you’ll get to settle it down together.”

 

Hakyeon nods his head. He doesn’t want to talk about it any further with Jaehwan and the younger senses it too, so he changes the topic of their conversation. They’re conversing for another half an hour before Jaehwan deems it’s time for him to go back home.

 

“Wonshik’s probably dead of exhaustion from taking care of Hongbin now. He can be a bit handful, you know.”

Before Jaehwan walks away, he’s staring at Hakyeon deeply.

  
“He loves you, hyung.”

  
Hakyeon frowns at him, confused with the sudden blurts out from Jaehwan.

  
“Taekwoon-hyung, of course. He loved you then, and he still loves you now.”

Hakyeon is speechless. He really doesn’t know what to say, so he’s staring at Jaehwan blankly. Jaehwan smiles weakly before he hugs a frozen Hakyeon and starts walking home.

 

Jaehwan’s words stuck on his head.

Hakyeon is now lying in his dark bedroom. He didn’t even bother to turn on the lamps in his apartment; he just went straight to his room when he reaches his apartment.

 

Is it true that Taekwoon loved him?  
Is it true that Taekwoon still loves him?  
Is he looking for Hakyeon because he loves him or is it because he’s mad at him?

 

So many thoughts running inside his head. What’s going to happen next week when he sees Taekwoon? Hakyeon’s thinking so many ways to avoid the other. For now, all he can do is worrying about the next weekend that is about to come and praying that the other won’t be able to come somehow.

 

The next Saturday comes too fast and Hakyeon curses at it. He was planning to come late to the party, but Jaehwan called him the night before, asking him to come earlier to help him preparing for the party. And Hakyeon couldn’t just say no. So right now, he’s driving his way to Jaehwan and Wonshik’s house but his mind is not on the road. He’s busy thinking about Taekwoon and he starts making the what-if questions.

 

He arrives at his friends’ house an hour later. He waits patiently at the front door. The door swings open and revealing Wonshik with Hongbin on his arm.

 

“Oh hyung! Long time no see!” the other beams at the sight of Hakyeon.

 

Hakyeon smiles at Wonshik as he’s stepping inside. There’s nothing different in Wonshik, except his now silver hair.

 

“Yeah, it’s been a long time. How’s our Hongbinnie, hm? Look at you kiddo! Looking more handsome now, hm?” says Hakyeon as he tickles Hongbin’s cheek. The baby squirming and giggling in his father’s hold, showing his dimples on both of his cheeks. It makes Hakyeon swoon over the toddler even more.

 

Soon, they walk inside the house. Jaehwan is on the kitchen preparing for the foods and drinks for the guests. Hakyeon is relief to know that Taekwoon hasn’t come yet.  
So, Jaehwan and Hakyeon are busy preparing the table and foods and beverages, while Wonshik is busy playing with Hongbin at the backyard.  
Not long after, Jaehwan’s siblings and parents are coming. And it starts making Hakyeon worry again. It’s almost 11 now, meaning Taekwoon will come anytime soon. And since the preparation is almost done and with Jaehwan’s mother helping at the kitchen, he excuses himself to the backyard.

 

He’s busy playing with Hongbin’s cousins when Jaehwan’s announcing Taekwoon’s arrival. Hakyeon’s literally freezing at his place when he sees Taekwoon. Taekwoon’s walking slowly to the backyard, smiles politely at the other guests. Hakyeon turns his head; he can feel his cheeks blushing at the sight of the taller man. Taekwoon looks so handsome now; or has he always been this handsome and Hakyeon didn’t notice it?

 

From his peripheral, he can see Taekwoon walks toward his place. He’s praying hard inside his head for Taekwoon to ignore him, but it’s just no use. He can feel the other’s eyes on him.

“Hakyeon-ah…”

Taekwoon’s soft voice startles him. He looks up hesitantly and he can feel his heart beats even faster now.

“T-Taekwoon-ah! Long time no see!”

Hakyeon curses himself for stuttering like that. He then stands up slowly and expects to see anger in Taekwoon’s eyes; but instead, he’s greeted with Taekwoon’s loving smile.

 

“Mhm… I haven’t seen you for years. How are you doing?”  
“I’m doing great… How about you?”  
“I’m fine.... I’m fine.”

 

For a moment, it’s like Taekwoon was going to say something to Hakyeon but decides not to, making Hakyeon curious.  
The way Taekwoon looks at him makes him feel the warmness all over his body just like when he had a dream about the taller man. Hakyeon wishes it’s not just his imagination, but the way Taekwoon looks at him is just full of love, longing, and… a bit of sadness? Hakyeon isn’t sure. But before he gets to say anything, Wonshik’s voice cuts him. It’s time for Hongbin’s birthday party.

 

The party goes well; the foods are great, no kids are crying, and everyone’s having fun. Hakyeon sits across the table to Taekwoon.  
During the lunch time, Taekwoon’s busy playing with one of Hongbin’s older cousins while Hakyeon is busy talking with Jaehwan’s older brothers. But sometimes, he can feel Taekwoon’s eyes on him; and when he turns his head to the other, Taekwoon will immediately turn his head. It happens a few times until lunch time is over, and Hakyeon has to go to help Jaehwan cleaning all the dishes, while the others are busy talking and playing with each other.

 

“You don’t have to help me, hyung. Just go to Taekwoon-hyung.” says Jaehwan carefully when Hakyeon is wiping the plates.  
“It’s okay, Jaehwan-ah. I’ll talk to him later, okay?”  
Jaehwan just sighs deeply and he continues washing the plates.  
“Okay. But promise me you’ll talk to him.”

  
Hakyeon just nods his head. They continue cleaning all the dishes in silent.

 

A few hours later, all the cleaning is done and all the families are ready to go home. Wonshik’s parents and sister have gone home first, followed by Jaehwan’s older brothers and their family. Jaehwan’s parents are staying the night, saying they still miss their grandson and want to spend another day with him.  
It’s almost dark when Hakyeon and Taekwoon decide to go home too.

 

“Are you driving here, hyung?” asks Wonshik to Taekwoon.  
“No, my car is broke down and I have to send it for service.”  
Jaehwan sees this as a chance for his hyungs to talk. “Oh? Why don’t you drive him home, Hakyeon-hyung?”

 

“Oh, right! Your house is on the same direction with Taekwoon-hyung’s house!” Wonshik adds much to Jaehwan’s pleasure. He loves his husband so much.

“Sure. Shall we get going now?” he asks Taekwoon who’s sitting on the couch with Hongbin on his lap.  
The other just nods his head as he’s handing Hongbin to Wonshik. He kisses Hongbin’s head and makes the toddler giggles.

“Don’t you want to kiss Hongbin too, hyung?” asks Wonshik.

Hakyeon nods happily as he gets closer to Hongbin, giving the birthday boy kisses on both of his dimpled cheeks. Hongbin laughs loudly and mumbling incoherent words only himself understand what they mean.

“I think he’s saying thank you to his uncles for coming.” says Jaehwan, patting his son’s head lovingly.  
“You’re welcome, Bin-ah.”

Hakyeon and Taekwoon walk to the car slowly as they wave their hands to Hongbin who stares at them happily. The toddler is on Jaehwan’s arms now, waving his tiny hands to his uncles.

“Goodbye! Be careful on your way home, hyung! And thanks a lot for coming!”

 

The ride home isn’t quite like what Hakyeon had imagined before. Taekwoon asks him a few questions about Hakyeon’s works, and Hakyeon asks him the same questions back. It doesn’t take long for them to reach Taekwoon’s place. Hakyeon parks his car and waits for Taekwoon to unbuckle his seat belt. His heart beats faster in anticipation.  
Is that it? What is he going to do now?

 

Before Taekwoon opens the door, he turns his head to Hakyeon.

 

“Do you want to go inside?”  
Hakyeon is pretty much surprised at Taekwoon’s offer.

 

“I can make you a cup of warm chocolate if you want.”  
Hakyeon is lost for words, so he nods instead.

 

The walk from the parking lot to Taekwoon’s apartment is silent, but not an uncomfortable one. Both of them glad with the silence; as if they’re preparing themselves of what to say to each other later.

 

Taekwoon’s apartment is neat and clean and somehow feels like a home to Hakyeon. He sits on the couch in the living room as Taekwoon is making the chocolate for both of them.  
He looks around the living room when a picture on a bookshelf catches his attention. He notices it as the picture of Taekwoon and him that was taken during their college days. He bits his lips, holding back his tears. Even after all these years being separated, after all the pain he made Taekwoon feels, the other still keeps their picture together.

 

He quickly wipes his tears when he hears Taekwoon slow steps approaching him. Taekwoon hands him his chocolate as he sits down next to Hakyeon, sipping on his own chocolate. The chocolate tastes sweet and a bit bitter, just like how Taekwoon always makes it for him. And Hakyeon still likes it.

 

They say nothing and just sit in silence for a few minutes. Hakyeon is staring at his cup when he’s done. Taekwoon takes his cup and place it on the coffee table, and now Hakyeon is staring at his own hands.

 

He lets Taekwoon takes his hands, holding them tightly. He lifts Hakyeon’s chin. Tears are now on Hakyeon’s eyes, and Taekwoon wipes them away.

 

“I miss you Hakyeon-ah…”  
Hakyeon starts sobbing softly, another tears rolling down on his cheeks.

“I miss you so much.”

  
Hakyeon loses his words.

“I’ve been looking for you. But even when I found out where you are, I couldn’t even bring myself to see you. I’m afraid that you’ll run away from me…”  
“I’m afraid that you might don’t want to see me again…”  
“Hakyeon-ah…please…just stay with me. I don’t want to lose you again. You can do whatever you want with me, but please stay. I won’t mad at you. So please…”

 

Taekwoon cradles Hakyeon’s face on his hands as Hakyeon keeps crying. He pulls Hakyeon into hug and lets him cry on his shoulder.

  
“I’m sorry…”

Hakyeon’s voice is hoarse from the crying, but he tries to speak. He wants Taekwoon to know that he misses him too.

“I’m sorry for hurting you…I’m such an idiot. I’m so sorry…”  
“I wasn’t mad at you…if anything; it should be you who mad at me. I did wrong…I’m sorry…so sorry…”

 

Hakyeon’s sobbing harder on Taekwoon’s hug. He hugs Taekwoon back and clutching his shirt tightly. He doesn’t want to leave or let Taekwoon go this time. He was a fool for leaving Taekwoon behind in the past.

“I miss you too, Taekwoon-ah…I miss you…so much…”

 

They sit on the couch for another minute, holding tightly on each other; afraid if they loosen up a bit they might lose each other. When Hakyeon’s sobbings turn into sniffling, Taekwoon lifts his face. He stares at Hakyeon lovingly.  
He then starts kissing the other’s face; his forehead, eyes, nose, cheeks and last, his lips. He kisses Hakyeon slowly, feeling the other’s lips with his own lips. He then breaks the kiss and lifts Hakyeon into his bedroom.

 

They lay down on Taekwoon’s bed, staring at each other’s eyes.  
“Stay with me, Hakyeon-ah…”  
“I will…”  
And they fall into a deep sleep.

 

The next morning, Hakyeon opens his eyes slowly. He can feel the sun shining through the curtain. Taekwoon’s already awake and staring at Hakyeon.

“Morning…”

  
“Morning...”

 

Taekwoon approaches his face slowly and whisper something that Hakyeon can barely hear due to his sleep deliria state. He frowns and asks Taekwoon to repeats his words. Taekwoon smiles and he goes to his ear, whispering softly.

“I love you, Hakyeon-ah.”

And Hakyeon’s wide awake.

  
It’s just like his dream, but it’s real now. It’s not a dream. He has Taekwoon next to him, his warm breath next to his neck telling him that it’s not his dream. As Taekwoon lifts his head back, he smiles shyly at Hakyeon who’s staring him with his wide eyes.

“I love you too, Taekwoon-ah.”

And they kiss again; this time much deeper than before. They have missed each other for years, and they won’t let go of each other just yet. They’re panting softly when they break the kiss.

“You know… when Jaehwan told that you’re coming to the party, I was afraid to see you…”

Taekwoon looks down at Hakyeon and frowns, “And why was that?”

Hakyeon lifts his hand to smoothen the crease between Taekwoon’s brows.

“Because I was afraid that you’ll hate me after what I’ve done to you. I understand if you hate me though, I do deserve it. But still….”

  
Taekwoon takes his hand to his lips and kiss his fingers.  
“I love you, Hakyeon-ah. There’s no way I can hate you…”

He sighs.

“There’s this words I heard before; you know you really love someone when you can’t hate them for breaking your heart.”

“So Hakyeon-ah… no matter how many times you leave me, I will always love you.”

“I know. And trust me, Taekwoon.. I won’t leave you.”

 

“Ever?”  
“Ever.”


	3. Finally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The suit felt tight around his body and Hakyeon could feel sweat rolling down on his cheeks.

The suit felt tight around his body and Hakyeon could feel sweat rolling down on his cheeks. He huffed and puffed nervously and starts walking around the room. He’d been in a nervous state numerous times but this one; it’s a different kind of nervous. Usually, a deep breath-taking or gulping down a glass of water would ease his anxiety. Suddenly, the door swung open and Hakyeon jumped in surprise. Jaehwan and his mother were standing at the door, smiling widely.

“Hyung! It’s time!”

_Oh God…_

Noticing his restlessness, Hakyeon’s mom approached his son and cupped his cheek lovingly.

“Just take a breath, son. Everything’s going to be just fine. I’m here with you, okay?”

Hakyeon smiled at her nervously and felt a bit relieve as his mother touched him. He leaned to her hand and took one two deep breaths.

“O-okay…okay. I’m okay. I’m good, mom.”

He grabbed her hand that’s on his cheek and entwined their hands, squeezing a bit to find another assurance to his tizzy mind. She then led them out of the room with Jaehwan on tow. As they stood in front of the large door, Hakyeon could hear his heart beat pounding loudly.

“Smile, honey. It’s your day.”

He closed his eyes and took another deep breath; the smile came to his face with ease as he remembered that it was indeed his day. He could feel, along with his nervousness, that happiness and anticipation building up inside him. As he opened his eyes, the door swung opened. He saw people stood and staring at him with smile on their faces. The music started and he began to walk into the room, slowly with his mother’s hand squeezing his to show her support silently. As he walked among the aisles, he could only smile back to the guests and then chocked a silent laugh as he felt too happy. He then set his eyes to the altar; to the man that standing there, waiting for him patiently with soft smile formed on his face.

When finally, finally, he reached the altar, his mother handed his slightly limped hand to the man.

“I’m sure you’ll take a good care of him, right, Taekwoon-ah?”

Taekwoon smiled and nodded his head firmly as took Hakyeon’s hand from his mother.

“I will, mother. Don’t worry.”

With that, Hakyeon’s mother walked to her seat, next to her husband and held each other’s hands.

Hakyeon took a look at his soon-to-be husband’s face and could feel tears welling on his eyes. Taekwoon reached out to wipe them away.

“Hi.”

“H-hi.”

Taekwoon grinned at him teasingly and Hakyeon would like to whacked his head if it’s not their wedding day and the fact that there were a lot of people around.

“Are you ready?”

Hakyeon could only nod his head, afraid that his voice might crack again.

They turned to face the solemniser. Everything went by with a breeze and all Hakyeon could remember was when finally it’s time to take their vow. It was easy to say “I do” for both of them and when the solemniser told Taekwoon to kiss his groom, Hakyeon kissed him first. He could hear the guests hooting and clapping for both of them (and Jaehwan’s shrieked too). He wrapped his arms around Taekwoon’s neck and they kissed each other deeply. They were out of breath when they break the kiss. Taekwoon starred at him endearingly as he cupped Hakyeon’s face.

“Finally.”

After all those years being separated and longing for each other, Hakyeon sometimes cursed himself for not apologize and confessed to Taekwoon sooner. All those years spent in doubt whether Taekwoon loved him back or not, even after Hakyeon mistreated him, Hakyeon couldn’t just believe his luck. When finally they got to see each other and talk out about their feelings for each other, Hakyeon was content to get to stay next to Taekwoon. He couldn’t ask for more.

So when one day, Taekwoon asked him to marry him, Hakyeon was surprised. How could Taekwoon want more from him even though Hakyeon had hurt him in the past? Hakyeon was in doubt but Taekwoon got to assured him that it’s all in the past and it didn’t matter to him. What mattered to him were the present and the future as long as Hakyeon was there with him. And how could Hakyeon say no to that? With tears running down on his cheeks, he sobbed in Taekwoon’s hug and said yes; yes, he would love to marry Taekwoon and spend the rest of his life together with him until death do they part. And here they were, standing at the altar with wide smile on both of their face; officially married to each other.

 

Finally.

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this on my AFF account and decided to posted in here too~


End file.
